MEND IN 2010

Have you ever felt that things are not going your way in your relationships, your finances or your career no matter how hard you try? Do you feel you are working harder for less? Do you feel as if every day is a struggle even though you try to stay positive and hope for the best? Do you feel anxious or feel like you live in fear because you don’t know what the future holds?

I have contemplated many if not all of those thoughts recently. I wondered what is wrong with me. I am an optimistic person. I enjoy life; I have lots to be thankful for. For goodness, sake I am a coach and the title of my book is “Coach Yourself to Greatness.” How can I be down on myself?

The reality is we all struggle from time to time. That life can be hard and unfair. And things don’t always go our way. The difference for me now is if I am down, I don’t stay down for long. I credit my Mom for giving me the gift of resiliency. I can bounce back; if I fall I get right back up.

The big difference is I can get on the “mend” quicker than I could before, I can coach myself to Greatness and live my Authentic Life. So can you by slowing down long enough to become aware of our thoughts and feelings.

The key is to become mindful ( be still) and reconnect with the Power of the Universe that lives in us; transcend what is happening around us and tap into the intrinsic wholeness that allows us to be open and receptive to balance, harmony and the Presence of the moment. When we can be with what is, peace comes within our souls and hope begins to rise up in us… We begin to mend.

Here are 10 ways to MEND in 2010:

1) Be generous. Give more than you think you can. I am not talking about material possessions. Give more of your time, a smile or a compliment. Be aware of the affect on you and the other person.

2) Practice GRATITUDE. Really practice it. I name five things I am grateful for in the morning before my feet hit the floor. At night I write down five good things that happened to me that day. We live in abundance we just have to remind ourselves.

3) BE STILL. Being still has worked miracles in my life. We are all so busy that we miss out on the simple pleasures of life, a conversation, a wink or a walk in nature. Practice mediation, being still even for 10 minutes will work miracles in your life. We all have 10 minutes we can give to ourselves.

4) Let go of delusional thinking. Most people are not thinking about us. We create these delusions in our minds which make us upset and angry. And ultimately causes us to disconnect from the people we care about the most. When we get angry and “go off” telling someone how angry they have made us we are instantly giving our power away. I use to do this all the time. Now I try to “sit with it” before I speak and reflect on what it is about me that is causing this particular thing upset me. Is it about me wanting to be right or wanting to control a situation? ‘Sitting with it’ can lead to self – awareness and freeing ourselves of old ways of thinking that no longer serve.



5) Have a TRUSTING heart. I don’t trust as much as I once did. When you have been hurt trusting seems a little more difficult. We may not always understand what is happening to us. But we can always respond with a trusting heart, trust that the process will take us where we need to be. The first element is to look deeply into what it is we can trust in ourselves. It always starts with us.

6) Be honest. I listened to Oprah on XM radio today and they asked the question what is the lie we tell ourselves. I repeated it to myself what is the lie I tell myself. The first order of honesty is to be honest with ourselves without blame, shame or judgment.

7) Be Hopeful. I am also a basketball coach and my team is struggling with close losses, injuries, personal problems and lack of confidence. I want very much to inspire them to do their best no matter what the circumstances and to help them embody a spirit of perseverance. How do I do this? I do it by drawing on my personal resources of strength in service of moving toward our goals. Realistic hope bonds people together and moves us together toward our desired end. Stay positive. I find hope through my spiritual practice.

8) Learn the lesson. I have a quote which says – in all things learn the lesson. When something is going on in my life and perhaps I do not fully understand why, I have learned to pause and ask the question what are you here to teach me. If you miss the lesson here, you are also likely to miss the lesson there. Learn the lesson and share the story. Someone else can learn from you!

9) Practice Self-efficacy. Understand what we can control and have an impact on is an key ingredient for successful people. We have the gifts and talents to accomplish our goals. Plus, believe (have faith) in positive outcomes and a sense of One’s personal power to affect the ultimate results.

10) Not Practice. Over the last 8 months I have not practiced yoga like I had before and what I noticed is it’s harder to hold the poses and my mind wanders. The same principles apply to life that apply to yoga. When you don’t practice these tools you see the effect of not having done it for awhile. So it’s paradoxical, you learn more about oneself by coming back to the tools and practicing them then if you never stopped.

Thus you have it; you are on your way to mend in 2010. Now the fun begins, practice these tools and you can begin living your authentic, holistic and healthy life.


For more information on personal coaching, authentic living and leadership development please contact me @ info@trudilacey.com

FALL BACK

Fall back; we moved our clocks back one hour this past weekend. We gained an hour of sleep, which I desperately needed. On the other hand, none of my watches, my clocks in the car or the clocks in my house have the right time. I find myself asking the same question… What time is it ?
Have you noticed how time marches on? Summer comes and goes and before we know the summer is over, it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas and the beginning of a new year. And we say, where did the time go?
Where does time go? Time they say stops for no one. The bigger question is what are we doing with our time? Are we falling back into old habits, rituals and patterns that no longer serve us? Are we letting life just past us by hoping that something will change to make us happier, prettier or more fulfilled? As much as we may want some magic potion to “show up” and give us some direction, a purpose and a hope it will not unless we are intentional about ‘making it happen”
What needs to happen for us is to find the magic in our own lives is to wake up every morning and meet the day with energy and passion. What needs to awaken in you?
In nature the awakening seems to just occur without effort, the sun comes up each morning, in the fall the leaves change from green to orange to red, in the winter snow falls and stillness fills space and time. What about us? What season of life are you in right now?
I am in two seasons, I am in the season of fear and the season of authenticity. Both feelings are reality to me. I am embracing the emotional challenge of am I doing enough with my life, how do I show up authentically in everything that I do and when will my moment come when I feel I am truly living according to my purpose. Have you ever felt that way?
As I sit with each of these realities, I am tempted to ‘fall back’ into my old habits, wanting to control every outcome (which is fear base living), getting upset when things take longer than I think it should, being impatient. I could go on & on…
What I know now is to “be with” my fears, my insecurities, my feelings of not being good enough. And to show up real and authentic no matter what the circumstances or no matter how much the fear grips me. I know I have come to far to “fall back” and not show up as my Higher Self. I know I must face my fears, my doubts, look fear in the eye and affirm to myself fear does not define me… I define me. I have everything in me to live the life I desire.

Use these three simple tools to transform your fear and live a life of fulfillment:
1. Affirm yourself every day. For 10 days look in the mirror and affirm who you are and who you are becoming.
“We become who we think about most of the time. Zig Ziglar
2. Be Bold. Being Bold does not mean BIG! Our ego tells us it has to be BIG. Get out of your comfort zone. Being bold may be saying no, it may be speaking up in a meeting, it may be saying ‘I love you’ when the other person is not be so lovable 
3. Celebrate you! Embrace you. Be confident. Your purpose is to show up where you are and make a difference in the lives of those you encounter.

“Bloom where you are planted” Kay Yow, North Carolina State Women's Basketball Coach

Don’t fall back! Don’t fall back into old habits, thoughts and feelings that don’t lift you up instead love yourself, commit to personal growth and let others see all of who you are becoming… Oh yea, and take a moment to enjoy the autumn season, the change of leaves is symbolic of the change of what was, to what is and what will be.

Gratefully,

Coach Trudi

The 6 F’s of Fulfillment

Happy New Year! It is hard to believe another year has ended and a new year is here. With the beginning of something new there is always something old we leave behind. Whether the past was good or bad, it is done and gives way to the new. The one constant is change, do not fight it, allow it, surrender to it and watch the Power of the Universe create miracles in your life!

As we leave behind, the unprecedented unemployment, foreclosures, buy outs, bail outs, the doom and glum of 2008; we can continue to focus on what is not going well, what we have lost, we can continue to live in fear and doubt OR we can choose to live in hope, faith and love!

We can choose to get off the sidelines of our lives and get back in the game. We can become a playmaker in our own lives. We can begin again. No matter what has happened in the past, no matter how many mistakes we have made. You and I have the Power of the entire Universe in us to help us design and live the life we are intended to live. Our best life is ahead of us, not behind us!

In order to experience the fullness of life is to BE with life, even the most difficult times. Don’t skip over the tough times, don’t run from them, BE present in it AND LEARN THE LESSON. THE LESSON IS WHAT WILL PROPEL YOU TO GREATNESS!! The trick is to turn what looks like a negative into a positive.

My big life lesson in 2008 was to practice gratitude, NO MATTER WHAT! My unending gratitude taught me to live courageously and with strength because it allowed me to learn to forgive, to forgive those who judge me, to those who hurt me to those who stepped out of my life in my most difficult moments and most importantly to forgive myself.

I am grateful for the pain and disappointments because it transformed me and I grew closer to God through the pain. I humbly accept my part in the struggle and I am grateful for my willingness to look into my soul with truth and to own my “own stuff”. Only then was I able to see God molding me to be who He wants me to be.

The same strength lives in you. Be thankful for lessons learned, they are valuable; they lead to fulfillment. Follow the SIX F’s for Fulfillment; focus on filling your cup with love and joy so you can pour hope into the heart of another.

Set specific goals in each area to begin to live a life of rich fulfillment:

• Faith – Tap into the Power of the Universe daily
• Fitness – Set a daily fitness goal
• Finances – What changes can you make daily to improve your finances?
• Family – What can you do daily to show love to those closest to you?
• Friends – Give friends the gift of forgiveness
• Fun – Plan a fun activity for yourself at least once a week

Life is divine in ’09!